February 03, 2005

What else can we privatize?

In light of the president's plan to save Social Security from financial ruin through encouraging private investment, I thought today I would look at other troubled government programs that might benefit from privatization.

Police: What other reason is there to have concealed carry permits for pistols?

Federal Reserve: Even Thomas Jefferson was against the idea of a national bank.

Welfare/Child Protection: Only a faith based initiative could help these poor unfortunates.

NASA: There's plenty of universities and private companies in the space industry now. Space Ship One proved that the private sector can do it faster and cheaper.

FCC: Let the Nielson people take over. Then only the most popular programs will be shown.

EPA: It's just another liberal myth that the environment even needs protection. If trees needed help they'd say something

FAA/NTSB: Don't the airlines have enough problems without a bunch of "administrators" telling them what to do? Transportation safety? If you have a problem with it, buy a hummer.

National Park Service: Anheuser-Busch did a good job making Williamsburg into a profitable venture. Wonder what they could do with Montecello?

NOAA: When every town has a meteorologist, why pay the government to tell us the weather?

Interstates: How much money does the government waste on road repairs and construction? Carry some gravel in your trunk. If you see a hole, throw some in.

Voting: It should be pretty obvious by now that the government would rather have "free and fair" elections in Iraq than here at home. I'm sure Diebold would be happy to help.

Military/Homeland Security: Since Halliburton already has all our money, why not make them work for it!

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